so pretty much i stayed in a hospital last night„,it sucked. i had to get my stomach pumped and then when my heart had a wierd thing on the ekg, they said i had to stay. it fuckin sucked. i felt so sick theentire night and i didnt sleep a single wink. whatevs.
annndd starting tomorrow is iop, wooohoo. :/
as much as i love my family and everyone in mmy life, i cant even stand it. im done dealing with stupid things and rules and shit that theres really no reason to worry about
auoahsdiojasdioja
so frazzled
mom and dad, i llove you lots even though you are such bitches to deal with sometimes iieuowrjdasiodaisodj
ijsodifjweirojerwiofaiosdjaiosdjaisjdoiasjdoaisjd «< explanation of my feelings right now. cantevenexplain
im trying to finish this paper that is due later today. honestly im so salty right now. i made such an indepth outline with tons of outside quotes and text support annd points of comparison. it was all laid out so that when writing the actual paper, it wouldnt take long to do. i figured tht by doing this, i was eliminating the usual stress i create when writing a paper. buut no. i created this huge mental wall after school. so big that i wasnt even able ot look at my papers without getting anxious. eleven pm comes round and i have a panic attack. i cant breathe. i cant talk. all i didwas sit there and stare ahead of myself. my dad was trying to talk to me to see how he could help/trying to calm me down. my hands were shaking and i was rocking back and forth. why does this keep happening, i tried to take all possible precautions but they didnt work. i finally calmed down around 1230/1 and started the paper
and here i am now, its 4:53 and i have to pick girls up for school at 725.
the stress seems to just keep building up. another worry about this paper is that i wont have enough space sufficient enough for all of my points that need to be made. going over the maximum pages allowed has never been an issue for me, in fact i usually get points off for it being too short. but i know that if all of the crucial points are not met, the teacher will take points off for that. i feel like i just cant win in this situation.
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imisslastyear/ skinnier me/tanner me/healthier me/prettier me. i hate the me right now.
this is frm a year ago… when i had long hair.. oh and was hella skinny. now im fat as fuck, hate my life.
(via loudwhisp3rs)
please, someone hit me with a car
Me : I want to die before I’m 23 at the latest
Them : what??
Me : Yeah, I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to grow up
Them : …
Me : I’m another person, in another town, in another state, in another country, who will end up working some 9-5, my death is a speck in time. When I die people…
